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In Germany, the question ‘Du oder Sie?’ goes beyond a simple choice of words – it’s about communication. For international professionals who live and work here, it’s often surprisingly difficult to get this right. 

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how I would address my potential customers on my website. In this post, I reveal my decision – and what is has to do with tone, culture, and communication.

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You can say you to me

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There’s an amusing anecdote that is often told in Germany about something that Helmut Kohl (or maybe Heinrich Lübke) said to Ronald Reagan (or perhaps the Queen). The exact details are a bit murky, but in an attempt to appear friendly, someone said ‘You can say you to me’, meaning ‘Du kannst ‘du’ zu mir sagen’. 

This story wonderfully illustrates the dilemma of every non-German who works here: Do I say ‘du’ or ‘Sie’ to my clients?

It’s a question I struggled with when I was setting up my website. Should I address my potential clients with the formal ‘Sie, or with the rather more casual ‘du’. When I first set up my website, I went with ‘Sie’, but I was never completely happy with my decision.

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How the ‚Du-Culture‘ has changed

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Since the days of Kohl and Lübke, the culture of ‘du’ has changed dramatically. When I came to Germany in 1992, I wouldn’t even have considered using ‘du’. Back then, it was absolutely clear that ‘Sie’ was the correct option in a business context. Even long-time colleagues still addressed each other with the formal ‘Sie’. 

But the past years have brought significant changes to German culture. Social Media has transformed communication. On Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram, we are all happily ‘dutzing’ each other. Even on LinkedIn, ‘Sie’ feels a bit stiff and overly formal.

Language changes, and it’s part of our job as communications experts to move with the times. I can’t resist the tides of change or I will appear old-fashioned. 

Since starting my company in 2018, it has become more and more common to use ‘du’ in business communication. A while back, I noticed that a new contact had a line in her email signature – #gerneperdu, which I quite shamelessly stole. It is a discrete signal to anyone I’m in touch with that I welcome a more informal address, without them having to second-guess my preference.

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Finding my voice

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When I start working with a company, one of my first questions is always to ask if they have a content brand book. Most brands have one, but often they are restricted to the use of graphic elements such as the logo or brand colours. The written content is sometimes overlooked, and that’s a shame, because it’s an essential part of brand communication. Knowing your target audience and defining your company voice enable you to craft more consistent, memorable, and effective content

If my target audience were in the financial or legal sectors, I might not even have considered switching to ‘du’. But most of my clients are international organisations, and my contacts there are often in the marketing or communication departments. They are generally younger – or young at heart – and more casual in their speech. And as soon as we start working together, we almost always switch to ‘du’. 

In the end, whether in marketing and business communication or in a personal conversation, it’s all about striking the right tone. Language connects us, builds trust, and conveys authenticity.

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The importance of authentic communication

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We all communciate slightly differently in a business setting, that we do in our private lives, but that doesn’t mean that we should pretend to be something that we are not. Authenticity is a vital part of successful communication.

I am a one-woman-band, not an ensemble, and I don’t use ‘we’ or ‘us’ to sound like a larger agency. My writing, particularly on my blog and on social media, reflects my honesty and openness – and the kind of person with whom I wish to work.

Using ‘Sie’ on my website wouldn’t feel natural to me. In everyday life, I prefer ‘du’, whether in a cafe, or a shop, or when meeting new people. Of course, it depends on the situation, and I would use ‘Sie’ with older people, in more formal contexts, or with customers who prefer a more traditional address.

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What’s next?

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TL; DR: I decided to switch to the more informal ‘du’ when addressing potential customers and blog readers. if you prefer to stick with ‘Sie, then I’m fine with that too. Either way, I’d love to have a chat with you and find out more about your project. 

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